big, big belly

five days overdue. . .all of the days leading up to the due date i told myself "how can they predict the day you're going to deliver? who cares? he comes when he comes. . ." but oddly enough, as soon as the 26th came and went EVERYTHING changed. all of my easy going attitude flew right out the window and instead there was just anxiety and discomfort. when, when, when. . . the anticipation is draining. having to answer the phone and explain to every caring individual "nope, nothing yet" is reliving disappointment. it's so silly when you pull back and look at the big picture, but there is something about passing that date that makes you feel like you'll be pregnant forever. FOREVER. and each day that passes is the baby getting bigger and bigger and harder to, eh hem, GET OUT.

then there is sadness. i had this lovely natural waterbirth dream labor that also seems to be slipping through my fingers as the time goes by. if he keeps cooking like he is, they'll most likely induce, then all waterbirth bets are off. even my natural hopes are in jeopardy because with this IV medication to induce labor comes some severe contractions, that just may be beyond my pain threshold. of course, there is the disclaimer that "it's different for everyone", but i gravitate towards the worst case scenario. try to prepare myself for something i can't realistically be prepared for.

anyway, i feel HUGE, tired, swollen, and i just seem to get bigger. and i don't think i can blame it entirely on baby because their growth slows quite a bit around this time. it's more because i can only tolerate activity in small doses, and they mostly consist of going to the bathroom, small projects, and eating. eating out of sheer boredom. so that may have a bit more to do with the growth that the wee babe. i would never have imagined how swollen my legs would get. good grief. i laugh when i look at the scale it doesn't even seem real. i am definitely getting to the point where i'm looking forward to being comfortable in my skin again. i've had a great pregnancy. and i know that the next stage brings a whole different level of discomfort, but i think i'm about ready to give birth.